Top 5 tips to reduce mum worry

Hey there, fellow mums! 

If you're reading this, I'm guessing you're feeling a little anxious and worried. That's totally normal, and it's important to remember that you're not alone. I often come across parents who struggle with worrying about their children's safety. It's completely natural to worry, especially when it comes to something as important as your child's well-being. However, when worry starts to interfere with your daily life and activities, it's important to take steps to reduce it.

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night stressing over an activity you have to do tomorrow, worried about what might happen and listing all the possible risks involved?

Mums worry all the time. We worry about things in our control and things not in our control. 

As a social worker who's passionate about mental health, I've helped many people work through their worries.

Here are 5 tips to reduce worry for mums: 

1. Educate yourself 

One of the main reasons mums worry about going out with their children is fear of the unknown. To combat this, plan ahead! Decide where you want to go and what you want to do, and research the area to ensure it's safe and suitable for children. Make a list of what you need to bring, and pack accordingly. Feeling prepared will help ease your anxiety. Take the time to research the playground or activity beforehand. Look for reviews from other parents, check out pictures of the location, and read up on any safety precautions that are in place. The more you know, the more confident you'll feel.

2. Sit with your worries and work through them

When you start to feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath. Literally. Close your eyes, breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and breathe out for four seconds. Repeat this a few times until you feel calmer. It's amazing how much a few deep breaths can help! If after that you are still feeling worried about something, write a list of all your concerns and next to it a solution. 

For example: 

Worry:

A friend has asked me to take my kids to a playground, there is no fence and I’m not feeling comfortable, my child could run away. 

Solution: 

Ask your friend to go to a playground you are familiar with and know there is a fence. 

When we bottle up our emotions and worries, they tend to grow and fester until they become overwhelming. It’s like trying to hold a beach ball underwater, eventually it’s going to pop up and hit you in the face. That’s why it’s so important to take the time to identify and write them down and develop strategies to overcome these worries. 

Writing down our worries and feelings can help us to make sense of them. It can be difficult to articulate what we’re feeling, especially if they’re complex emotions. Writing them down can help us to sort through them and make sense of what we’re experiencing.

Acknowledging our feelings and worries can also help us to feel less alone. When we’re struggling, it can feel like we’re the only ones going through it. However, when we write them down, we can start to see patterns and similarities between our experiences and those of others. 

3. Be prepared 

If you're worried about a specific activity, try to plan ahead as much as possible. I know how stressful it can be to take your child out in public. You never know what could happen, and it's easy to feel like you're not prepared for every situation. A simple way to fee prepared is to pack everything you need the night before. This should include diapers, wipes, a change of clothes (if you have a small child), snacks, and any other essentials your child might need. I like to keep a small first aid kit in my bag as well, just in case of any little cuts or scrapes. By having everything you need in one place, you'll feel more confident and prepared for whatever might come your way. Another tip is to plan ahead. If you're going to a new place, do a little research beforehand. Check out the layout of the area, see if there are any potential hazards, and make note of any emergency exits. Knowing these things ahead of time can help you feel more in control and less anxious. And don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Whether it's asking a friend to watch your child while you run to the restroom, or asking a stranger for directions, there's no shame in admitting you need a little assistance. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child, so don't be afraid to lean on those around you.

4. Stay consistent with your rules and approaches

Consistency is a helpful tool in your mum toolbox. Being consistent in your approaches helps your child to understand what you expect of them and how you will react and respond to them. I've found that staying consistent with my children has been a game-changer for reducing my anxiety levels when I'm out in public with them. Consistency helps to establish routines and boundaries, which can be incredibly helpful for both you and your children. When everyone knows what to expect and what is expected of them, it can help to create a sense of calm and order, even in potentially stressful situations. Staying consistent with your children can help you to feel more in control when you're out and about with them. When you're feeling anxious or worried, it can be easy to feel like things are spiralling out of control. However, by staying consistent with your children, you can create a sense of structure and predictability that can help you to feel more grounded and in control. Let’s say you did decide to go to the unfenced playground and your cold runs off, you YELL STOP and they just keep running. Role playing scenarios with your child at home can be helpful when you get to unfamiliar places. When you YELL STOP they will know they need to STOP. 

5. Trust your instincts 

You are the parent, you know what’s best for your family. If you feel uncomfortable and can’t see any practical solutions to your concerns, don’t do it. Also, Don't compare yourself to others: It's easy to see other mums out and about with their children and feel like you're not doing enough. But remember, everyone is different. What works for one mum and child may not work for you and your child. Focus on what you and your child need, and don't worry about what others are doing. Be kind to yourself. Remember that being a mum is hard work, and it's okay to feel worried sometimes. Don't beat yourself up if things don't go perfectly. Show yourself the same kindness and compassion you would show a friend.

Mama remember, the list above helps you work through your worries in a solutions focused way but when you are in the middle of your worry thoughts you can practice the following to help snap you back into the now. 

1. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is all about being present in the moment and focusing on your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Try practicing some simple mindfulness exercises, like deep breathing or body scanning, to help reduce anxiety and worry.
2. Talk to someone: It's always a good idea to talk to someone about your worries and anxieties. Whether it's a friend, family member, or therapist, having someone to listen and offer support can make a huge difference.

It’s also important to note that as mums, we often put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect. But the truth is, nobody's perfect! Set realistic expectations for yourself and your family, and don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go according to plan.

Remember, it's okay to feel worried sometimes, we just can’t let worries take over our lives and so us from enjoying fun experiences with our children. As mums there will always be worries, using the tips above can really help reduce the impact worry has on your day to day life, so it doesn’t impact on your child’s experiences. 

Take care of yourself, mamas!